PPlease excuse us and help make our attorneys calm down by reading this document. This is not an exhaustive list, we tried to make it fun to read, and you will receive and be required to sign a waiver that includes a longer more detailed list of things about visit the ranch.

A booking fee of 50% as a non-refundable deposit is required upon booking a cabin or RV spot. We insist that you provide 72 hours of notice of cancelation for a refund. Weddings and events are due 50% deposit upon signing of the contract, and this amount is only refundable with a six month notice of cancelation due to the hardship of rebooking these things. We accept all US Currency, major credit cards and PayPal. We do not, however, accept the following forms of payment:

• Shiny Beads
• Blessings
• Promises
• Hugs, except as tips.

Be considerate to other guests

In the event you are staying at the ranch and there are other guests here as well, please be considerate during normal sleeping hours.

Wild animals are... um... wild.

No one wants to let me dig a big enough hole to go scuba diving on the ranch, but most people know I am a professional diver. I tell my students not to touch the underwater wildlife. This same rule applies for all wild animals.

Please understand, with the exception of the horses and dogs you may encounter, every animal on the ranch is wild. Yes, even the cute whitetail, blackbuck baby, and animals in the breeding pens. If you happen to visit the ranch when we have fawns and the staff invite you to hold, feed, or pet one this is a rare exception to the rule on "no touching."

Our staff may handle animals, and that may look like a lot of fun, but unless you work for us - don't. Seriously... they all bite. Even the deer - who also will punch you with their sharp hooves, stab you with their antlers, and can run unbelievably fast.

We are a agritourism entity, which means under Texas State Law, you are responsible for your own safety and understand the inherent risks of being out in nature when visiting us. This covers everything from you twisting an ankle to a tree falling on you... animals biting you... getting hit by lightening.... basically, all the things. You agree to this by being on the property, you drove past the signs when you came in. We are also an equine facility and conduct equine events... this too, means you are responsible for all injury etc. that may arise from being in and around horses. Again, the signs were at the gates and are all around the equestrian facilities.

Even approaching the pens, or wild animals in the woods or fields can be dangers to you and the wild animal. Don't spook or pressure the animals. Please do not stop and take photos of the breeding pens or the animals inside them. We try to post many photos of those guys on the website and you are welcome to download those images. Also... no matter what your buddy tells you, we do not have black cats with white stripes on their backs. That's a skunk, and you should avoid it and not try to give it fish nor cuddle with it. Just saying.

Do not go into any pens, open any gates that are closed, enter any buildings you did not lease access to, etc. I mean, think of how awkward it would be to go into the shower house of another cabin and walking in on someone enjoying the endless amounts of hot water our showers provide?

Policy on bringing and riding horses:

YeeHAW! We like horses, we have horses, we even have a stable that acts as a "horsey hotel." We have a 100x200' arena, a round pen, and beautiful paddocks for horses. And miles and miles and miles of trails all through the forests. If you have arranged with us that you are bringing a horse you will know to bring your current Coggins certificate with you. We will scan and keep a copy of that certificate when you arrive on the property - and this is done before you unload your horse. We also appreciate you providing record of when your horse was dewormed last, etc. (Telling us you know it was within the last X-months is fine.)

No one may ride until everyone riding has signed a waiver. All minors will require that a legal guardian sign a waiver for them.

Policy on vehicle usage on the ranch

Cars, trucks, and other road rated vehicles may only be driven on ranch roads. Driving them on our fields causes damage to our turf and leaves ugly ruts in the ground. No one wants to see ugly ruts.

Use of ATVs, and other utility / recreational vehicles to include bikes, etc. is restricted to use on the trails only, and only during daylight hours. No vehicle may be operated above ten miles an hour. Read that again... it tears up our roads, it causes stress to our animals, and frankly it is super unsafe. No children may operate vehicles on the ranch. No exceptions.

No chasing or pressuring animals. When you come upon animals you are to drive at an angle away from them and never directly at them. You are welcome to stop at a safe distance and watch them, we suggest turning your engine off if you do not want them to run away.

Use of UTV/ATV requires the signing of a waiver, and no waiver is available for children as they may not operate it while at the ranch.

Policy on pets visiting the ranch

We all love our furry friends, I mean look at how many of them we let live with us on the ranch! But, this is the home of the animals on the ranch and it is their preserve and we work hard to keep the native predators away from them. That said, they can't tell the difference between your dog and a coyote or wolf - and, to be kind about this... many of our large hoofed animals will chase down and kill a coyote. One of our horses also hates all kinds of dogs, and as we said we manage predators so the same traps designed to capture the predators will attract your dog. (For all the same reasons, they smell super tempting to them.) We don't want your little furry loved friend getting hurt. You can bring your animals, but they have to be on a leash at all times. I will repeat that, they have to be on a leash at all times. We are sure Mr. Snuggles the Dog is great and always follows you and never goes far from your side and you never need a leash. You also never have a 600 pound wildebeests who can run twice as fast as your dog chasing him. And if one wildebeest chases a dog... all the wildebeests chase the dog. Yea, that scene from the cartoon you are now visualizing... that. If they can trample a lion to death, consider Mr. Snuggles. Even our super sweet Pére David's Deerd do not like dogs or things that look like cats. Those antlers are not on their head for decoration, they are weapons. We have watched them bite dogs, and even hurl 100 pound dogs dozens of feet through the air using their antlers. Trust us - the look of shame and embarrassment on your dog's face isn't worth the freedom of not being on a leash.

Also, our smaller animals don't like being chased by dogs - and we don't like seeing dogs chase our little friends, so we kind of stick up for our little friends and your dog comes second to the life of our little friend. Especially because our little friend is probably endangered or functionally extinct.

Endangered and protected species

It should go without saying, but this is here because apparently that isn't the case, if you harm any endangered or protected animal on the property we will personally invite the Texas Parks and Wildlife Rangers to come meet with you. We believe in and cherish the ideals of conservation. The ranch happens to be home to endangered and functionally extinct animals that we take pride in providing a home to, and our efforts (like those of many Texas-based exotic ranches) are helping repopulate these animals in their native countries, provide them to zoological and echo restoration programs, and provide an environment where they can be studied and preserved. They won't bother you, they will let you look at them, but please do no harm to them - and that includes being aware of your trash and other items they may try to eat.

Use of special weapons, birds of prey, and other things that require special licenses

First, this stuff can be super cool. Who doesn't like the idea of using a suppressor so you don't damage your hearing and you can go without ear protection and use all your senses while at the ranch and participating in some shooting sport?

Second, if you are bringing any NFA firearm with you please bring the appropriate ATF paperwork as well. Copy of the trust, department letter head and Form 4 if you are with an agency, Form 4, 2 if a individual legal owner, etc. depending on how you acquired or manufactured the NFA item... getting the hint, we are super savvy to all things NFA.

Generally no shooting is allowed at the ranch without prior approval and proper insurance being provided. (We do occasionally lease parts of the property to specialists who teach long range shooting, or personal protection classes.) We also realize this is the wild, and having a firearm may be prudent for personal safety. We ask, for the comfort of our other guests, that you do not display firearms by wearing them openly on your person, etc. Even our team members keep firearms and even dart guns hidden.

Falconry, we love birds of prey! The ranch is home to many native species who live freely in our forests and hunt regularly all over the ranch. From huge owls to swift falcons if you look you will be amazed at what you see.

We can arrange and often have a master falconer who can bring birds for guests to experience. But if you have your own, please bring appropriate documentation with you at least for your first visit. We have several very large fields and it is a true delight to watch birds of prey do what they were meant to do. We have falconers out quite often just to train and exercise their birds. If they invite you to partake that's great, but do not approach the falconer or the birds without permission.

Alcohol, tobacco, caffeine, bad dad jokes...

All things are good in moderation, and we expect adults to monitor themselves and enjoy life. We do not permit drinking before or during any use of firearms, boating, or equestrian activates. Drinking in moderation while fishing is generally okay.

Tobacco, the only issue we have with smoking while at the ranch is fire. Fire is a major concern to all ranchers, and at times things can be quite flammable in Texas, historically speaking - especially in Bastrop County. Please take very good care of your ashes, butts, etc. If you are going to smoke, please use an ashtray. Do not throw butts on the ground, it is disgusting and the animals eat them and get sick.

Caffeine is a tool we will employ if we find your children unattended. We will provide them with ample energy drinks, give them a baby skunk, and return them to you.

Too many dad jokes or puns in general may result in rolled eyes and groaning sounds from your fellow guests.